Yitro: Initiators
The Torah was given to women first, because when they understand the importance of the Torah, they will ensure that everyone else understands it as well.
Parshat Yitro
WOMEN AND MATAN TORAH
“Moshe went up to G-d, and Hashem called to him out of the mountain saying, Thus shall you say (tomar) to the house of Ya’acov, and tell (tagid) the sons of Israel” (Shemot 19:3).
CHIEF OF HER HOME
Rashi explains that “the house of Ya’acov” refers to the women – to them you shall speak in gentle language, as the Hebrew word tomar (say) indicates. “To the sons of Israel” – the men, Moshe is instructed to communicate the punishments and details of the commandments in words “as hard as wormwood,” implied by the Hebrew word: tagid (tell). According to Sha’arei Aharon, “the house of Ya’acov” refers to the woman of the house, because she is the chief of her home (Akeret haBayit). The Hebrew term “akeret haBayit” has been translated as “housewife.” However, a preferred translation might be “homemaker,” an appellation more congruent with the original Hebrew term that is intended as a title of honor. Western culture misleads us into believing that a woman obtains her primary fulfillment outside the home, and needs only take care of domestic chores on the side. The following anecdote serves to demonstrate the absurdity of this outlook: A certain executive once asked his fellow associate what his wife does. The associate responded: “She is in charge of a home for unwanted children.” This sounded like a position of prestige, until it became clear that the home and children that she was in charge of were her own! We need to reeducate ourselves to appreciate the importance of the title: “Akeret HaBayit.” What could be more important than setting the tone in the home for all future generations? Rabbeinu Bachaya explains that the reason the Torah was given to women first was because of their role as the one who imbues the home with Torah values and guiding the children in the ways of Torah. Therefore, the perpetuation of the Torah for all future generations depends upon the woman.
WOMEN ARE MOTIVATED BY LOVE
According to Be’er Yitzchak, Moshe was instructed to only tell the women about their important mission and the reward of keeping the mitzvoth. From hearing the positive, they would be able to deduce the opposite. The men, however, needed a detailed explanation of the punishments for transgressing the commandments. From this, we may infer that one major difference between men and women is that women are predominantly motivated by love, while men by fear. Moreover, men need to be told directly, whereas, women have the ability to read between the lines and understand allusions. This superior level of intuition and softness of heart are part of our unique feminine assets that need to be cultivated rather than renounced.
WOMEN AS INITIATORS
he midrash gives several reasons why Hashem gave the Torah to women first. At Creation, G-d only commanded Adam not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Chava was not commanded directly by G-d, and this was a major reason why she was vulnerable to succumbing to the snake’s temptation, to eat from the Tree and share its fruit with her husband. Therefore, in order to assure that the women would keep the Torah, G-d decided to give the Torah to the women first. Another reason is because women are eager to keep the mitzvoth, and moreover, because they will ensure that their children keep the Torah (Shemot Raba 28:2). Maharsha explains that the word “tagid” can grammatically be read: “she shall tell.” Our verse can, therefore, be explained as follows: “Thus shall you say to the woman, that she may tell the sons of Israel.” We often find that women have the power of persuasion, and ability to influence others. This point is illustrated by the following anecdote: A pious man was married to a pious woman. Since they had no children for more than ten years, they decided to divorce. When the pious man married a wicked woman, she influenced him to become wicked as well. However, the pious woman was able to make a righteous person out of the wicked man she had married. From this we learn that everything derives from the woman (Bereishit Raba 17:2). The Torah was given to the women first, because when she understands the importance of the Torah, she will ensure that everyone around her understands it as well. Just as it is the woman who gives birth physically, she is also the one who brings forth spirituality and Torah into the world.
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Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum is Director of Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin in Gush Etzion. This article is an excerpt from her book Women at the Crossroads: A Woman’s Perspective on the Weekly Torah Portion, reviewed by The Jerusalem Post, The Jewish Press, Voices Magazine, Good Reads, and WordPress/JewishPress and more. To order this book, click here.
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