Ki Teitzei: Condo Chaos

"For Hashem, your G-d, walks in the midst of your camp to rescue you and to deliver your enemies before you; so your camp shall be holy, so that He will not see a shameful thing among you and turn away from behind you." (Deuteronomy 23:15).

Steve and Tiffany Roman were a Miami jet-set party-loving couple. The purchased a condo in one of the fanciest sections of North Miami Beach with a breathtaking view of the ocean from their 30^th floor balcony that was right off the living room. That's when the fun started…

The parties would begin at sundown one evening and wouldn't end as long dawn’s first raise hadn’t yet illuminated the horizon. Sure, the State of Florida is a free state in a free country, but the Romans and their guests stretched their freedom more than a bit too far. Even though Miami isn't renowned for its modesty, the guests who frequented the Roman condo shattered all boundaries of decency – please don't ask for more graphic details.

If that wasn't enough, the blaring music from their stadium-size speaker system could be heard as far away as Fort Lauderdale. By the time the guests staggered out of the building, the elevators smelled like a mixture of Johnny Walker and rancid pizza and the carpets in the lobby were badly stained with a repulsive mixture of grease, whiskey and beer. The concierges couldn't stand the thoughtless, self-indulging Romans or their rowdy and inconsiderate guests. The neighbors filed complaints with management and on several late-night occasions, they even summoned  the police. Life in the building became unbearable.

One late afternoon, the Romans heard a knock on the door. Funny, the party wouldn't be starting for another hour. They opened the door and encountered the stern faces of the development-company representative, the building manager, and two burly accomplices who looked like they could be linebackers on the Miami Dolphins' starting team. The four didn't ask for permission to enter; they walked right in…

Steve and Tiffany had three full-time domestic helpers to clean up messes from the last party and to set up for the coming party. One was already grilling lamb chops on the balcony. The manager turned to Steve and said in a scolding tone, "Don't you know that we don't allow lighting fires or charcoal grilling in these entire premises?"

With the haughtiness of a person who is used to buying his own way and not being told what to do, Steven said, "I paid seven million dollars for this pad – cash; I'll do as I please…"

One of the two burly accomplices took a menacing step toward Steve but the building manager restrained him, whispering, "Not yet, Bruno."

The development company representative pulled out a wad of papers and said, "Mr. Roman, you obviously have not read the contract, particularly the responsibilities, rules, and regulations of condominium living. You've made life unbearable not only for your neighbors but for the entire building. The noise, the smoke and the commotion that come out of this apartment are unbearable. People like you cause direct financial damage to all the other condo owners, for you bring down the property value. We are not asking you – we are telling you – to sell immediately. You have 90 days to leave."

"You can't force us out of here," screamed Tiffany.

"Try us," said the development company representative, who just happened to be one of the lawyers on the company's legal staff. "If you read your contract, you will see that whoever doesn't uphold the common regulations is liable to forfeit all condo services – that includes utilities. The next time you hold one of your wild parties, or if one of your drunken guests soils the lobby or one of the elevators, or if we hear a peep out of this apartment after 11 PM, you'll rudely awaken to find that there is no water in your faucets or electricity in your sockets. You can stay, but your water, gas, and electricity will leave. That's only the beginning; first, our services will leave you. Soon after, you'll be leaving us – like it or not."

"So you're threatening us? I'll sue you for everything you have!"

"Feel free, Mr. Roman," said the company rep. "Make sure you recharge your cellphone now, for soon, you won't have electricity here. I want you to be able to call your lawyer…"

The Romans didn't take the management's visit seriously. They hosted another loud party. This time, the police broke up the festivities at 11:05 PM. At midnight, they no longer had water or electricity in their condo. Soon, they were out of the building altogether, "gently convinced" to sell their apartment at a great loss.

* * *

Imagine that you are a family with small children or a retired couple who only wants a bit of peace and quiet. How would you feel if the Romans were your next-door neighbors, keeping you or your children up at all hours of the night or polluting your apartment with noise and smoke?

In our above parable, the development company and building management who provide the condo residents with all necessary services resemble Hashem, Who provides us with all the services of life. Hashem tells us in our passage at hand that He is in our midst. But, if He sees any unsightly thing, particularly debauchery, immodesty and lack of holiness, He turns away, Heaven forbid. Just as the electricity, gas and water were cut off in the Roman apartment. A person whose abode is spiritually contaminated suffers an immediate loss of Divine abundance, which is liable to manifest itself in any number of difficulties – health, income and/or marital peace, just to name a few.

Don't think that personal holiness or modesty is for prudes. They're simply basic requirements for keeping Hashem in our midst; for when Hashem is with us, we enjoy every blessing conceivable.