The One-Step Program

“Moe” is one of my favorite people. As a little kid, he was bullied and kicked around. As he got older, his struggle to find himself took him down the dark lanes of drug addiction. His big wakeup call was the first night after his nasty divorce, when he woke up to a dark and depressing four walls rather than seeing the smiles of his two gorgeous little girls.
 
The custody hearing in court was rapidly approaching, and Moe knew that his ex was going for blood. She’d tell the court that he was high as a kite from morning till night and therefore undeserving of shared custody or anything more than bare minimal visitation rights. Moe loved those little girls of his more than anything on earth; he knew he’d have to come clean and fast, but how do you break a 25-year habit of being on drugs since age 10?
 
Moe – with Hashem’s merciful Providence – found Lazer Beams and began a correspondence with me. In short, Moe became completely clean with no medical assistance or rehab program at all – only with emuna. He writes all about that in Confessions of a Former Pot Head.
 
Moe came clean but the Yetzer Hara didn’t give up. “Have another beer, Moe,” the Yetzer would say. Soon, Moe turned to the sauce.
 
Once again, as the afterburner of his teshuva and emuna kicked in, Moe dumped the alcohol completely, with no outside help. What an emuna hero he is! I want to share his letter with you, for it’s a source of strength and inspiration for all of us, especially the substance abusers who think there’s no hope. See for yourself:
 
B"H Dear Rabbi Lazer,
 
I was surprised to see my letter to you in print, it brought up some old feelings. And after reading it, I wanted to come clean to you! No, I have not turned back to the Drugs, in January, Good Lord willin' I will be 6 years clean! But I wrote, "Tell those who battle substances, that Hashem took us out of slavery a long time ago, and we do not need to be slaves anymore…Life is so much better without the Monkey on your back " . Well this is a true statement but not for me. My drinking increased, I was drinking everyday and had been for 30 plus years! Mainly Beer, but Wine and Whiskey on Shabbos was the norm.
 
Two years ago I decided to stop the Whiskey, I felt that beer and Wine would be less harsh on my system, and I want to be around a long time for my Kids and family! I was replacing the Pot High with a beer buzz, and after another talk with you, (it was Chanukah last year, you told me this is a time for miracles), I decided I would just drink on Shabbos, turn a negative habit into holiness. This worked for about six months, but I looked forward to Shabbos for all the wrong reasons, THE BEER!
 
Then I started making excuses to myself, ok, only a beer after work to unwind, which turned into 2 or 3. Only a couple days a week, if I had a hard day, if my new wife was givin' me a hard time, any excuse the yetzer would hit me with. By the way, I thought about stopping my drinking a long time ago, i had been doing it for so long, I was not even feeling the buzz too much, just locked into a habit, and locked into the guilt I was carrying around for hiding this habit from my wife and kids!
 
Hashem sent me a new Rav and a new Shule was opened here that has a dry policy, no drinking! My Rav even specializes in recovery! What a sign, but I ignored it!  This past Rosh Hashana, I was  thinking hard about  what Real teshuva would  mean. and did some serious soul searching. It would hit me in the morning during my prayers when I would say, Blessed are you Hashem, King of the universe, for not making me a slave (Shelo asani aved)! What a hypocrite, I told myself, I am a slave, big time!
 
That night I went out on a bike ride, with 3 beers in my backpack, I felt great after drinking them and then I got the worst heartburn ever! It was so painful and I made myself remember that feeling. I woke up the next day and decided it was time to change my life! After a week of uncomfortable moods and urges, I came clean to my wife and told her everything! I went into Yom Kippur with a week of sobriety, and I never have felt more worthy of asking for forgiveness ever!
 
Hashem knows how hard this was for me, I am now 46 days completely clean, Thank G-D, and I have seen multiple miracles and blessings come my way in this short time. My strength is miraculous because it comes from Above. I have no desire to drink, I have broken this long habit, and for the first time I am honest with myself and my loved ones! Apple cider and grape juice are now my Shabbos Beverages of Choice, and Decaf Green Tea and Chamomile are my weekday choice!  I apologize to you for not being totally honest, but now I can truly say, Life is SO much better without a monkey on my back! My Mandolin playing is better, My praying is with so much more clarity and focus ( and feeling), and I am know finally able to experience real torah study with understanding!
 
I Thank you not only for myself, but for all the people whose lives you reach out to and make a difference, including my Family's! I now can't wait to say in the Morning , " Blessed are you Hashem, King of the Universe for not making me a Slave"!! With Love and Blessings, "Moe"
 
P.S. A lot of people who know me ask if I am on the 12 step program, I smile and proudly say, "No, I am on the One step Program. The One is Hashem", He has given me the huge blessings of Courage and Strength! I guess you could call it Emuna Rehab – the best there is!