Completing the Cycle – Life After Death

“And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to G-d who gave it” (Ecclesiastes 12:7).
 
How does one begin to write about the end of a life? Composing a tribute to someone who has recently passed on is both complicated and painful, especially when that person is one’s parent. With G-d’s help, may this bring an uplifting to my beloved father’s soul and strengthen others along the way.
 
My father, Yoseph ben Yitzchak Dovid, may he be at peace, left this world on Simchat Torah (isru chag in Israel). The last time I saw my father was in Canada almost 2 years ago. Despite the enjoyment of spending time with him, my return to Canada felt like I had descended into a deep, black hole. Since we made aliya and have tried to live a Torah lifestyle, anywhere other than the Holy Land feels almost suffocating to me. As difficult as it is to be separated from our family, it is the sacrifice we make to live in Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel. Thankfully, my father fully supported our decision with love and accepted it selflessly despite the personal hardships it may have caused him.
 
That dismal abyss which I overcame for the sake of Kibbud Av, honoring one’s father, has now returned as an empty and dark void in my aching heart. This is part of the natural mourning process. Hashem understands how our emotions work so Judaism has step by step laws in place to help us through these life events, both for our welfare and the sake of the neshama of the departed. We learn that one should try to refrain from extreme grief and in fact we are commanded not to be in great despair for everything is from Hashem. When we hear of someone’s passing, we immediately respond with Baruch Dayan HaEmet – Blessed is the True Judge.
 
As one would be inclined to do with any hole, we must try to fill it up and smooth it out so that we can go on with our lives.  Rabbi Lazer Brody once said, we would never consider pouring mud into a crystal wine glass. We would only use the finest wine or champagne worthy of such a vessel. Similarly, we must fill the emptiness in our souls with kedusha (holiness) and mitzvot (good deeds, commandments). During creation our Heavenly Father created a vacuum within the chaos to ultimately contain His Light for the good of mankind. It is our duty to help fill that cavity by carrying out His Will, bringing kindness, compassion, harmony, peace and joy to the world and returning the hidden sparks which were scattered in the beginning.  In so doing, we will not only connect ourselves to Hashem, but we will be giving our loved one’s neshama fuel to lift them up to loftier heights in the Upper World.
 
Most people have a real fear of death but once we have lost someone close to us that apprehension softens. Since it is known that life continues after death in a different realm, we understand that passing on from the material world is not the end at all. In fact it is just the beginning, the commencement of eternity. If the deceased merits entering Gan Eden (Paradise) which we pray that they do, they will be embarking on an infinite journey within a spiritual sphere in pure, heavenly bliss, an existence beyond our human comprehension. Rebbe Nachman, may his memory be for a blessing, referred to the old cemetery in Uman as the ‘House of the Living’ and this was where he chose to be buried.
 
My mother, a’h, may she be at peace, was taken from us more than 22 years ago when I was a young mother with small children. Soon after her death she came to me in a dream. I believe she was trying to comfort me because when I woke up I was totally overcome with a feeling of calm and contentment. We met in a dark place yet I could see her clearly. We hugged, I cried and she told me she was fine and then revealed something which will remain with me always: “The corridor between the darkness and the light is not very far”. This has now given me some solace regarding my father as his spiritual being transitions through the spectrum from the physical to an otherworldly plane.
 
Joey, Dad, Zaida, as my father was affectionately called, was nifter (deceased) on the morning of Simchat Torah, the day we rejoice in our Torah. On that day, the cycle of our Torah reading was complete. So too, Yoseph ben Yitzchak Dovid’s final parasha (portion) was concluded in his own cycle as he returned his unique soul to the Creator.
 
These traditional words of consolation which soothed me in my time of sorrow have significance for us all:
 
“May the Almighty comfort you amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem”
 
I pray that the world in general and our People in particular will no longer suffer and the darkness will soon turn to light. May we merit welcoming Mashiach, witnessing the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash and ultimately being reunited with all our departed family and friends speedily in the coming days. Amen.