Scream if it Hurts

Recently I read an interesting article that made a great point of showing how conservatism is dying away and quickly being replaced by the younger, more progressive and liberal-minded generations. What is the problem with this? Well, if you’re a traditionalist at heart, meaning you still treasure old-fashioned morals such as getting married and raising a family with wholesome values, then you’re in the ever-shrinking minority. If you want your children to be raised with a strong sense of respect and what’s right and wrong, you’re in the minority. If you think that kids need a mom and a dad that are married and live in the same house in order to be raised properly, you’re in the minority.
 
Welcome to the next millennium, where your entire value system has been thrown out the window. You just don’t know it yet. Take a good look outside- what types of billboards are on the street? Are there photos of kids eating healthy snacks and playing ball, or are there x-rated pictures of models sporting the latest lack of clothing or perfume? Are there disgusting before and after photos of plastic surgery victims with their sagging, cellulite-ridden bodies practically drooping onto the sidewalk? Look at the popular magazines- you can’t escape being bombarded by sexual images, even when you go grocery shopping! The media- TV, movies, print- are doing a great job of keeping your mind on sex all the time. And don’t even get me started on the internet. No wonder this generation is spiritually as low as the generation of Sodom and Amorra.
 
Here are some other noteworthy points from the article: Gay marriage was made legal in Maine, Maryland, and Washington State. The first openly lesbian U.S. Senator was elected in Wisconsin, pushing the Senate even more to the left. In Florida, voters rejected a proposal to prohibit use of public funds for abortion. Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana. This one particularly upsets me- what’s left of the “say no to drugs” speech we’re supposed to give our kids? It wasn’t difficult for a kid to get his hands on marijuana if he wanted to, but now we’re telling him, “Here you go, son, take a hit before you cram for that calculus exam tomorrow.” Seriously. And furthermore, how is a kid supposed to understand the difference between pot and cocaine? If they’re both drugs, what makes one okay and another off-limits? I strongly believe that marijuana is the gateway to heavier drug use- if a kid is going to experiment with this drug, what’s going to stop him from trying ecstasy or acid? It’s completely messed up!
       
I’d like to focus on the issue of gay marriage. I understand this is going to be very difficult for some people to read, but I feel I must defend Torah values. A few days after Hurricane Sandy hit the Northeast, a friend of mine sent me a video by Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, titled Scream if it Hurts. It’s really a must-see. He asks the fundamental question: “What does Hashem want from us?” Usually the Jewish people are protected from such catastrophe. But this time it seems like the Jewish people were particularly targeted for destruction- communities with high Jewish populations were devastated by the storm. The question is- why?
 
Rabbi Wallerstein makes the connection between the legalization of gay marriage and the Frankenstorm. One year ago, exactly a week before Hurricane Irene hit New York, gay marriage was legalized. This year, exactly one week before Hurricane Sandy, there was a motion to overturn gay marriage, and it was denied. The problem is not only that it was legalized- the problem was that not one Jew demonstrated against it. No Rabbis, no congregations made any demonstrations. Not one Jew took a stand to defend his Torah, the value system given to us by Hashem Himself, and said, “I don’t support gay marriage.” People are terrified of being ostracized, of not having public approval. They’re afraid they might get fired or lose a few friends. But are they terrified of what Hashem thinks of them? Do they care that they’re accepting the values of a depraved, spiritually (and materially) corrupt nation over their own Judaism? Do they even identify as Jews anymore? Where in the Torah does it say that gay marriage is okay?
 
Rabbi Wallerstein talks about a poll that was taken after the storm. People were asked why they thought the hurricane happened. Some said “mother nature.” Others said “change of seasons.” The really smart ones said “bad luck.” He points out, “No one said, ‘God is trying to tell us something.’”  Only one person publicly made the connection between the hurricane and gay marriage. That person was a preacher! You wouldn’t believe how much hate mail he got on his blog for saying that.
 
The problem, he says, is not about being gay. If you want to be gay, that’s your choice, and you will have to deal with the spiritual consequences one day. The problem is that now, gay marriage is viewed as equal to marriage between a man and a woman. Gay marriage is now viewed as sanctity, a holy act between a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. This is disgusting in Hashem’s eyes. How dare people raise sodomy to the same level of holiness as marital relations.
 
“All the while, God is being insulted while the Jewish nation sits quietly with their comfortable job, their fancy car… they’re telling God ‘God, I really don’t care about you. Because I live in America, in western civilization, and it’s accepted…but what can I do anyway’”? He gives over a great story from the Midrash: when Pharaoh wanted to kill the Jews, he got together with his advisers and decided to let everyone vote on the matter. Iyov was the only adviser who didn’t vote- he was afraid to vote against it because he knew he was already outnumbered. However, he was punished for doing so. Hashem made him suffer more than any human had ever suffered until then. He asked Hashem why he was punished, and Hashem responded with an allegory: when a person is in pain, his natural inclination is to scream. Does screaming make the pain go away? Does it fix the problem? No. So why does that person scream? He screams because it hurts! Even though Iyov knew he would be outnumbered, he was still obligated to cast his vote. He still had the responsibility to let Pharaoh know what he thought of the plan. He had to take a stand.
 
So what are we supposed to do? Rabbi Wallerstein gives us the solution, and it’s none other than personal prayer! We need to yell out to Hashem, “Hashem! It hurts me to see that the country that I live in, the state that I live in, stick it to You. They say that You don’t exist. They say You have nothing to do with this world. Hashem, I stand with You!”
 
So that’s what I’m doing. I’m screaming, because it hurts. It hurts me to see what assimilation has done to our people. It hurts me to see how we have traded in our holiness, our royalty, for cheap thrills. It hurts me to see how most Jews don’t want to come back home, to Your beloved Israel- the land You set aside as their inheritance. It hurts to see how they would prefer to live among the goyim and continue to adopt their culture and lifestyle instead of living how You want us to live. It hurts me to no end that sweet, innocent children will be taught that a man marrying a man is the same as a man marrying a woman. It’s like giving them a choice that they should never get. But do You know what hurts me the most, Hashem? That I have to witness the next generation of Jews not even be given a chance to live by Your Torah. Most Jews don’t live in homes that put their religion first. They go to pseudo-Jewish schools and once they’re home, the Judaism is forgotten about. And those are the lucky ones. The unlucky ones go to public schools and never, ever get a taste of what it means to be Jewish for their entire lives. 
 
Hashem, it hurts. It really, really hurts.
 
Parents, take an objective look at the environment your kids are growing up in. Where do you see your kids 5, 10, 15 years from now? What is the likelihood that your children will continue to be Jewish? What is the likelihood that your daughters won’t tell you they’re pregnant when they’re 16? What spiritual glue is going to keep your kids and their spouses together when the going gets tough?
 
If you don’t like what you see, it’s time to strongly think about aliyah. In Israel, there are plenty of beautiful, thriving communities that still revolve around Torah and family values. In my town, there are no billboards. There are no malls or movie theaters. What I see every day are families that are doing their best to live according to Hashem’s will; to bring their children up with holiness and purity. Where else are you going to find that? Don’t let them be at a continued disadvantage by surrounding them with a materialistic lifestyle that puts basketball players and heroin-addicted rock stars on pedestals. Don’t make them suffer from an internal struggle of the wholesome values you may try to enforce and the liberal garbage they’re exposed to on the outside. It’s a battle you’re unlikely to win.
 
They deserve better- and so do you.