Thank G-d for Prison

Ray started getting high on marijuana and hashish when he was 12 years old. 
 
His role models were the drug dealers that he knew. They had plenty of cash and a constant supply of drugs. Most of all they had “power.”
 
Ray’s life was not yet consumed by a daily need to feed his addiction. So these were the “best” days of his life; a time when he still had some semblance of a life. He went to parties and got high with friends –  something he wouldn’t have time for later on.
 
Eventually Ray was sent to drug treatment centers but none of them did him any good. He was in yeshiva in Israel for a short time but was caught selling drugs and thrown out without a plan to help him. Ray made sure to kick in as many windows there as he could before he left.
 
On the street, Ray’s addiction escalated. He graduated to crack cocaine and then to methamphetamine (meth).  Meth gave Ray a feeling of invincibility and invulnerability. His  concentration was acute his energy high. He had little need for sleep or food. He was literally “unstoppable” –  but now he had to pay for a room and keep himself and his girlfriend supplied with drugs.
 
Ray’s life became a war between him and anyone who stood in the way of his taking what he wanted. The meth made him delusional and paranoid. He felt justified in raging against and stealing  from a world that was out to kill him.  He would steal even when he had money in his pocket – just to feel he had the power; just to feel he had the edge.
 
Ray bought a gun.
 
Carrying his gun at all times, Ray walked into parking lots and up and down the street checking  cars until he found one with the keys inside.  It was easy. He got into the car and drove away. He was always driving a stolen car. He went into stores and houses with his gun and took whatever he could find and brought it to the pawnshop. Thank G-d he didn’t wander into the wrong house.
 
Ray had a reputation on the street. He wanted everyone that he dealt with to fear him and know that if they snitched on him that he would kill them. Ironically it was Ray’s own girlfriend who had him arrested.
 
When the police arrived, Ray bolted out a window and ran for his life. They pursued him by foot.  Ray dove over a fence landed on his head and broke his neck. The police caught him and he was arrested. When he was released he went right back to stealing. There was nothing else for him to do. He was oblivious to how easy it was to identify someone with a neck brace.
 
Ray was spotted attempting to burglarize a house in broad daylight. A chase ensued. The police surrounded Ray. They thought Ray had his gun so, broken neck notwithstanding, they threw him to the ground. They drew their guns and aimed them at Ray. Lying on the frozen ground with six guns aimed at his head, Ray realized that G-d had saved his life and was relieved to be captured. He was headed back to prison, but at least he would be alive.
 
Ray had lent out his gun. If he would have had the gun that day he would have used it for sure. He was not surrendering without a fight. The police would have fired back and that would have been the end. Instead now he was headed back to “safety” – to the only place that he has ever been able to stay sober – to his cell. Ray continues to read about emuna and we speak almost every day.  He thanks G-d again and again for prison.  Healing from a broken neck and living in solitary (where he can’t get into fights and further injure his neck) Ray’s mind is clear, and he knows full well what would happen to him if he were released today.
 
G-d of mercy please strengthen our brother’s faith; lead him in Your truth; protect him at all times and please, please – hold him tight until he’s ready to leave.  Amen.
 
This is a true story. The names and personal details  of those involved have been altered in order to protect their privacy. My thanks to “Ray” for permission to publish this.