Stop Working So Hard!

A lesson in hishtadlut (effort)

What is your goal with all the effort you put into everything you do?

When you have an answer to the above question, you can assess whether all the energy you are expending is worth the time you are spending. Is there a fair chance that the outcome will be what you expect? Therefore, it is imperative to contemplate what we expect or desire to happen as a result of our effort. What is the goal we want so much to achieve? This takes deep contemplation—probably the most vital type of soul-searching we can do.

Take steps to write down several major goals and then underneath each one write some sub-goals on how to get there. Before doing this, let us discuss education as a goal. Many young ambitious high school graduates are faced with a decision that is difficult to make at age seventeen or eighteen. That decision is what to do with the rest of their lives. This existential question is often too heavy for our unprepared youth. They are asked to decide what they want to “be” when they are already who they are. They have to continue to go to school to “become” something -i.e., make something of themselves. This, unfortunately, is what we are told. Are we not enough already? Do we even know who we are? If we do not know already who we are, then, for sure, we’re not going to find ourselves when we go to college where we live or in a different state or even in a different country. So many of us have expectations of “becoming something” when we graduate high school and move on to a job or higher education, but we do not know enough about ourselves and life in general to make such an assumption.

It may come as a surprise, but everything we will ever be is deep inside of us now, placed there by Hashem. We are souls that were placed in bodies to evolve and to emerge. We need to complete ourselves by growing and emulating the Creator after learning His wisdom and doing what He expects us to achieve. We need to identify the gifts that G-d has given us and use these very gifts in His service. That is our job. Toward this goal we must work. This is the basis of our hishtadlut – our effort. If we love music but are tone-deaf and cannot carry a tune if our life depended upon it, it’s not a good idea to become a music major in college. Our gifts, given to us by the Creator, must be cultivated, maximized, and used for the benefit of others. Toward this end we must work. How we accomplish our soul-driven goal can take many forms. We simply need to be aware of the primary objective and then speak to Hashem, asking for His guidance in directing us to the proper avenues leading to its fulfillment.

As we progress through life, we begin to identify the areas of our lives we need to refine. Are we tolerant of others’ deficiencies? Do we get upset easily? Are we reactive instead of responsive? Are we kind and compassionate when it’s difficult to be? Are we generous? Are we helpful? Are we loving? Do we seek peace and pursue it? Do we desire peace over being right all the time? Do we strive to make people happy? Do we refrain from judging others? Do we speak only words of healing? Throughout our lives G-d puts great value on the degree of hishtadlut we apportion to character development. Our middot (character traits) are expressions of our souls. We are here to match our outer garments (our speech and our deeds) to the purest element of our being—our neshamas (souls). Our thoughts must also be pure, for they are the closest to G-d since only He knows what we are really thinking.

As for the other components of life which we often chase—money, material possessions, fame, glory, honor, a dynamite appearance with hair and clothes to match, a svelte or buff body, a competitive edge, and vacation get-a-ways, we need to re-evaluate each on the merit of their significance to our Creator. If we find we are putting too much emphasis on achieving any of these things, we are working too hard. Putting too much time in at the office or even at school to the neglect of the Jewish holidays or the Shabbat, G-d-forbid, is not going to produce the kind of success we may believe it will. Perhaps, in the short run, our effort may give us a sense of gratification, but, over time, we will come to realize that too much effort in those areas negatively affected both our human relationships (with family and friends) and our relationship with the Almighty, Who is a Big Fan of the Shabbat and the proper celebration of His Holidays.

Many people work very hard to make money, but as Rebbe Nachman says, in the end either their money is taken from them, or they are taken from their money. Judaism teaches that Hashem decides at Rosh Hashanah the exact amount of our gross income for the year and evaluates if we have properly tithed ten per cent of it. He is the master accountant. Money is a form of spiritual energy, so any money earned on Shabbat cannot possibly bring true prosperity if Hashem does not bless it. Many people wear themselves out looking for their soul-mate but never even think to involve Hashem. The more we discuss this issue with Hashem and the more we have emuna (faith) and bitachon (trust) in His involvement, the less we have to do. Hashem will lead us and let each of us know, on an individual basis, what we need to do and where we need to go to meet our intended. It’s all about letting go, believing, relaxing, loving the process, manifesting from a place of connection, and feeling the joy of Hashem’s love surround us. We all need to connect and stop working so hard.

With blessings for a stress-free life.

Lori