The Player-Coach

Some of the best speeches that I’ve ever heard are speeches where a highly successful person – someone who is universally loved, admired and respected – gives thanks to all of the people who helped him to become what he is. 
 
What is so captivating and inspirational about speeches in which superstars’ express their gratitude to those who encouraged them, disciplined them, and even forced them to become the best that they could be? Maybe it’s the sense that even we average or below average performers could also somehow reach far higher levels of production and achievement than we imagine is possible if we have the right coach and supporting staff to work with us.
 
Maybe we derive hope from realizing that even the famous peak performers who broke records and accomplished so much with their lives are people too, and couldn’t have done it by themselves.  We love to hear that they too needed people to encourage them, discipline them, and sometimes even force them to believe in their gifts. We love to hear that they too would never have pushed themselves to get up early enough, to practice enough hours, to organize themselves and discipline themselves and work through the pain without the help of other people.
  
And what happens to a person who is never encouraged in the right way? He lives a life of “quiet desperation.” He lives a life in which his gifts remain hidden and alienated from himself. He lives a life in which he is frustrated by his own recognition that he possessed a certain greatness that he never learned to use – in short, that he wasted his potential.
 
Despite being very bright, Frank had always been an average student in school. When he was young, some of his more perceptive teachers noticed the huge discrepancy between Frank’s intellectual potential and his level of academic performance. Although Frank thrived and performed superbly for these few teachers, his abilities generally went un-noticed by his other teachers and parents.
 
When Frank was in college, he again had a few special teachers who noticed his gifts. One professor tried to take Frank under his wing. He took him swimming and out to eat. The professor encouraged Frank to read more, to write more, to develop the fine mind that he had. But it was to no avail – Frank just didn’t believe in himself.
 
Frank graduated from college and professional school without distinction, and for years he worked for people who were far less capable than himself. Frank began to hate himself for not being able to actualize the greatness he sensed that he had. He became overly competitive and began to covet what others had – especially those in his own field who had achieved far more recognition than himself.
 
When Frank was already married and had children, he chanced to meet a famous person in his academic discipline who he had admired for more than a decade. The world renowned professor was a superstar in Frank’s field and Frank yearned to be just like him.
 
Even sleepy Frank could see that his “chance” meeting with one of his professional “idols” was more than sheer happenstance, so G-d helped Frank to push past his usual inertia and he volunteered to help the celebrity with his work.
 
At first, Frank was so awed to be in the presence of the internationally acclaimed professor – his new mentor and coach.  Frank felt inadequate in relation to the famous intellectual who had achieved so much in his field and who was so loved and sought after by millions.
 
The professor instantly saw through Frank’s negative self-image, and appreciated Frank’s hidden potential more than anyone ever had. He steadfastly encouraged Frank, insisting that he believe in himself and his most heartfelt goals. Through sheer persistence, positivity and deep sense of love and commitment to Frank, the professor wisely used all of the authority and the power that he had in Frank’s eyes to confront Frank, sometimes very sharply, every time he began to devalue himself or doubt his gifts. “I’m not going to let you speak about yourself that way, Frank.” In the beginning he needed to say this time and time again.
 
The great professor began to confide more in Frank, saying that Frank possessed an even greater talent than he himself did in certain respects. Coming from someone whom Frank viewed as the number one scholar in his field, you can imagine how this peaked Frank’s curiosity. All the while, Frank’s larger-than-life mentor kept drilling him and complimenting him about all aspects of his professional progress. Within several months, Frank began to function on a higher level than he, his wife, his children, his parents, or any of his old friends could have ever imagined – least of all himself.
 
These are a sample of the messages that the professor drilled in Frank's brain, over and over:
 
“You’re going to be a superstar, Frank…”
“I’m even a better coach than I am a player…”
“Don’t worry, Frank, there are two people that a person is never jealous of: his children and his students…”
“Everybody that I speak to loves your work, Frank…”
“This was superb, Frank, so powerful. It jolted me to tears…”
“You’re going places, Frank. You’re going to make a tremendous contribution to the world…”
“Don’t try to be me, Frank. Be yourself. Stick to what you do best…”
“Now you’re influencing a lot of people, Frank…”
“I’m getting calls from people who are raving about your work, Frank…”
“I want millions more people to know who you are, Frank…”
“Now you can just fly, Frank, fly! Spread your wings man and go!”
“I pray for your success every day…”
“Now look what you’ve done and where you’ve come from.”
“Now you are the star, Frank. You're the man and I'm proud of you…”
“You’re even more than a star, Frank!”
“You are one of the people whom I get more pride from than anyone else!”
 
Frank wrote down and memorized every word,  good and bad that he heard from his mentor. As his self-confidence grew stronger every day, so did the quality of Frank’s work. The great professor could now completely rely on his disciple and so he selflessly promoted him whenever he could.
 
There were also those times when the professor had to get tough with Frank and give him some constructive criticism when his work wasn’t up to par. On a few occasions, he even warned Frank that he was going to have to let him go if he didn’t work faster and harder and stick to the guidelines that he had set.
 
Nevertheless, Frank accepted whatever the professor told him and threw everything that he was told by his mentor into his growth. It was the first authority figure in Frank’s life (other than his college football coach) that he accepted rebuke from – mostly because as painful as it was, he always knew that it was coming with love.
 
Frank’s career in academia is now in full swing and he has begun to receive the international acclaim that his wise teacher knew he was capable of.  Frank will never forget what his childhood hero did for him. G-d willing, he will do the same for someone else someday.