Connect or Complain?

The Torah tells us in the Book of Numbers, Chapter 11, about the fiasco of the complainers, the mitonenim, who complained in the desert that there wasn't any "free fish" like they had in Egypt. They also whined about not having squash, watermelon, onion and garlic. Each family sat in the entrance of their tent crying and complaining about the Heaven-sent manna, which they said they were sick of.

I took a hard, close look at the above episode; every person should try to bring this to life in his mind: Imagine that you're passing through the Sinai Desert, and all of a sudden you hear the People of Israel, sitting family by family, crying and whining. You're quite alarmed, so you run to the Israelite encampment and ask, "What's the matter here? Has some tragedy occurred, Heaven forbid?"

The Israelites look up at you strangely and say, "No, nothing's wrong – everything is OK."

Bewildered, you ask, "So why are you crying? Did you receive some harsh news or bad tidings?"

Again, they look at you like you're from outer space and reply, "No, there are no bad tidings or harsh news."

Losing your patience, you ask, "So what in the world are you crying for?"

They respond, "We don't have any meat; it's been months since we ate meat…"

A million things were going through your mind when you first heard them wailing. Maybe someone was killed? Maybe a child was maimed by a wild animal? Maybe an epidemic broke out? But no – they're all crying and complaining because they don't have meat. What, are they crazy? Don't they know what life is all about and what we're doing on this earth? Don't they realize that our entire objective is to refine ourselves and rid ourselves of bodily lust and appetites so that we’ll be able to get close to Hashem and cling to Him?

The Gaon of Vilna of sacred and blessed memory says that a life without working on character improvement is not a life. If a person's orientation were clinging to Hashem and refining himself, he would shine. Indeed, he would illuminate his wife and children as well. As soon as a person is focused on his true purpose in life – serving Hashem and clinging to Him – he feels no deficiency whatsoever. He wouldn't cry or complain about anything. You certainly wouldn't hear him whining that there's no steak for dinner. Indeed, his joy in the privilege of eating manna – Heaven-sent bread – would know no bounds!

By observing the above episode of the complainers in the desert, we can understand the complaining of our people to this very day. They lack a connection to the real life, the life of wholehearted servitude to Hashem! They're searching for all types of fantasies and material amenities in hopes of finding happiness, but they never find it! Sometimes they run after money; sometimes, it's fame; other times, they seek sexual thrills. They think that tickets to the NBA finals, a meal in the new fancy Kosher French restaurant, a Bermuda cruise or a new BMW will make them happy. It never happens! The lust stays but the happiness never comes. At times, they think they're enjoying themselves, but once the entertainment or the cheap thrill is over, they're even more depressed than they were before. Is that life?

As we wrote in "The Garden of Gratitude", a person's whining and complaining stems from his lack of connection with his real purpose in life. If a person would take an objective hard look at what he's complaining about, he'd see that he's not in touch with Hashem. He'd yell, "Hashem, let me connect with You! Hashem, let me understand what I'm doing on earth!"

All the troubles of this world come from a person's lack of connection to the "real life" – the life of Torah and mitzvoth. He is never satisfied, so that's why he slanders others, complains, harbors anger and is often depressed. He's always looking for something that he never seems to find. He chases all types of fantasies and pursues bodily appetites and pleasures, but other than a few moments of gratification, they don't satisfy him either. He chases fame and honor, but his wife doesn't even respect him. Why? He lacks life and is in sore need of spiritual oxygen for his soul is choking.

If you're not happy, do two things: first, start saying thank-You to Hashem for every blessing you have, taking nothing for granted. Secondly, cry out to Hashem like a lost child in danger, because a person who lacks a connection with Hashem is certainly in danger. Then, it's only a matter of time until you see miracles. Do this every day and don't give up!