Dr. Emuna: Don’t Despair!

I don’t see how Yirat Hashem can be compatible with  living  b’simcha.  Given  the magnitude  of  my sins and the unlikelihood of teshuva (I can barely concentrate on hitbodedut for 5 minutes, let alone an hour) it seems that there is only room for despair. In conjunction with this, I know Rav Arush pushes for making aliyah as soon as possible, but doesn’t it make more sense to stay far away from the palace of the King (i.e., Eretz Yisrael) rather than inevitably make a mess inside it? Also, by marriage, doesn’t it make more sense to stay single rather than drag someone else into my problems? I know there must be some resolution to these issues/questions, but I can’t fathom it. 

Thanks for your help and all of your hard work spreading emuna. 

 
AB, New Jersey, USA 

 
AB, 

I hear your questions loud and clear. They are truly all along the same lines. I am so glad you felt open to ask your questions, instead of just drowning in despair. Rabbi Nachman said “There is no room for despair!” and that holds for every person, and every situation. Including yours! 

The answer is very, very simple – you are forgetting three crucial things. 

The first – that Hashem loves you!!!  

Hashem loves you NO MATTER WHAT and wants a connection with you NO MATTER WHAT – just like any good father. Hashem wants you close to Him, in His palace – you are His child, after all. Come home and see just how much Hashem will help you here, both physically and spiritually. He will be so happy to welcome you home, just like any good father. Without conditions. If you’re willing to at least keep Shabbat, then you’re welcome to come home to Abba’s Palace! 

Remember this quote – “Hashem loves the biggest rasha more than you could ever love the biggest tzaddik.” 

Please read more on this – read Rabbi Arush’s article God is All Love. 

The second – to appreciate the good points in you! 

Do you have a kippa on your head? You should be thanking Hashem until eternity for that kippa. Have you laid tefillin once in your life? You should be singing and dancing for the rest of your life for your Bar Mitzvah day. Do you keep Shabbat? That is a mitzvah, worth the weight of keeping the entire Torah – and you get one for every single second! That’s 90,000 mitzvot a week! How about tens of thousands of mitzvot every day for every second you wear tzitzit. 

Are you starting to get the idea? 

This is all part of thanking Hashem for all the mitzvot that He IS enabling you to perform, and all the good you ARE doing, and all your good points that you DO HAVE – instead of complaining about what you still are not able to do. 

The path of self-blame and persecution won’t get you anywhere. Go up to the path of emuna and happiness! For everything up until this moment – only thank you. For everything you want to do in the future, and you want to do better – pray for the future.  

Read more here – Rabbi Arush explains exactly how to use The Secret Weapon.  Then, you’ll keep reminding yourself of these truths in your Daily Reminder. 

The third – the power of repentance. 

Don’t underestimate the power of teshuva. You must read these articles from Rabbi Arush – Repentance from Love and The Most Beautiful Day (it’s about Yom Kippur but it applies the entire year). Remember that the most important teshuva is the fact that you simply have not prayed enough and worked enough on the subject – a must read - The Evil Trick. 

TO SUM IT UP: You need to learn the incredible teachings which themselves will answer your questions. Regarding the difficulty doing personal prayer – I suggest reading my series Just Do It  which is full of simple tricks and tips to make doing hitbodedut easy. The most important thing is simply to go to the meeting. Even if you don’t talk, or you repeat one phrase over and over – just go to the meeting with the King. Slowly you’ll start talking. 

But really, the hard is silent when it’s sad. As you start learning and asking Hashem to help you fulfill what you learn about thanking Hashem and seeing the good etc. – you’ll be happier – and you’ll find it easy to talk! 

Hashem loves you! He isn’t punishing you or pushing you away from Him, or refusing to give you words, G-d forbid. Your ability to talk is related only to your sadness (which is actually a sin), and not to the original sins themselves. You just need to learn how to change your thoughts to true thoughts instead of lies from the Evil Inclination, and that will automatically change your emotions. Essentially, without realizing it, your sadness has made you turn your back on Hashem – change your direction, and you’ll see that everything will flow easily G-d willing! 

Another piece of advice I think would help you – you should start following Rabbi Arush’s new spiritual exercises. Week by week, each builds on the next, and you can start anytime. Get your friends to join too! It’s a few minutes a day, and Rabbi Arush promises that those who follow the program will end up with perfect emuna and have Heaven on Earth. I continue to update the program weekly here. 

If you would like to listen to the classes where Rabbi Arush explains these ideas with English translation, let me know and I will send you how to get access.  

And regarding the marriage – read The Garden of Peace and everything will work out there. But first, I would spend at least a few weeks working on the foundations. Once you’re happy and connected to Hashem so that He is also your shadchan, and I’m sure that will work out fine. But you can’t hope to recognize a proper mate down in the dumps. You have to first be happy with your life exactly as it is, and yourself as you are – and then we can work on marriage. The more effort you put into this advice, the faster you’ll see yourself ready to start down that lane – I think much faster than what you would ever imagine! 

Save this email!!! This email contains a wealth of information which is totally life-changing. I have been learning Harav for more than 14 years now BH, and as he explained these concepts, I too was totally blown away – and they have totally changed the way I view myself, and others. Just learn, and do the work and you’ll see incredible positive change too! 

I hope it helps you too! 

*** 

Rachel Avrahami grew up in Los Angeles, CA, USA in a far-off valley where she was one of only a handful of Jews in a public high school of thousands. She found Hashem in the urban jungle of university. Rachel was privileged to read one of the first copies of The Garden of Emuna in English, and the rest, as they say, is history. She made Aliyah and immediately began working at Breslev Israel.  
 

Rachel is now the Editor of Breslev Israel’s English website. She welcomes questions, comments, articles, and personal stories to her email: rachel.avrahami@breslev.co.il.