Dr. Emuna: Drop Everything and Run!

Here is a question that I received from a reader, which I am sure resounds with many of us: 

“My big issue is how to make the time to do my daily gratitudes and teshuva (repentance) for an hour OR EVEN A HALF HOUR a day!! I was doing it for a short time in a local park but…you know. HOW DO YOU DO EVEN 10 minutes a day???” 

My Response 

Rabbi Arush says that it’s a daily battle. Just because you managed today does NOT mean that you will manage tomorrow. With other mitzvot, doing it regularly makes it easy. Someone who eats only kosher food expects to keep kosher tomorrow too! It might be hard to start keeping that commandment, but once you’ve gotten used to it, it’s easy to continue doing. 

But hitbodedut (personal prayer) isn’t like that, because your ENTIRE purpose in this world is dependent on it, as well as many other crucially important things, like the Redemption! Therefore, you can’t expect anything from one day to the next. What, the Evil Inclination is going to hand you something so important and holy on a silver platter? No way! 

Therefore, every day is a new battle. You simply must pray and ask Hashem to give you the daat – the holy knowledge – to just “drop everything” and do it! 

It’s a war for me too. What I can tell you is this – the days that I put my hour first are generally much better and more productive days. What I lost in the hour of hitbodedut, I gained and gained in productivity and seata Dishmaya (Divine Guidance) the rest of the day. During the times I had in my life that I did good hitbodedut every single day – ironically, I had more time, not less, and managed much better! 

Then there are days like yesterday. I had a crazy morning after dropping off the kids (my usual schedule) and it just didn’t happen before pickup. Now I am in real trouble… so I tried to manage here and there, talk 15 min hanging out the laundry etc. – and it ain’t the same.  

So, this morning I had a DISASTER of a morning, and I feel terrible physically and emotionally about it, and I KNOW it is because I didn’t do good hitbodedut yesterday. So now I have dinim on me – judgments – and now it is even HARDER to carve out the time because nothing is going smoothly… so I have to make a new beginning and beg Hashem to smooth the way for me to get back on track! 

And that is just dealing with the time aspect. Needless to say, the issues I am working on in my character in my personal prayer… Take a guess that this morning I backtracked big time?  

Real progress is only made with daily hitbodedut. NOTHING ELSE WORKS. Rabbi Arush says that even if you manage to learn what you are doing wrong, without hitbodedut – you won’t be able to fix it! 

Now, I want you to know – when you are in a pit of harsh judgements (which generally happens if you aren’t already taking your time for personal prayer), it can take time to dig yourself out in. You might not see tomorrow being better immediately, and it doesn’t always work straight that hitbodedut = good day.  

However, you will immediately see the effects of not quite making an hour of dropping everything. I know very well: Do it or else! I am terrified for the tomorrow when today I didn’t do my hour! 

It’s very similar to keeping Shabbat.

By keeping Shabbat, we get more Divine assistance in our lives, more income, more happiness, etc. – NOT LESS. A spiritual life is not a zero-sum game; God can put more into the game whenever He wants, and He can also take out even if you don’t want.  

When Rabbi Arush calls personal prayer “an hour of Shabbat during the week” – he really means it!  

The ONLY solution to our “rat race” society is personal prayer.  

The ONLY way I escape the feeling of being a driven slave is with daily personal prayer – truly dropping everything to go speak to Hashem.  

It’s a mini vacation! Go out and walk in the park, or the forest, or sit on your balcony and do NOTHING except talk… What a relief!  

When I start feeling the “rush rush I never get a break” frustration, I know that I am not doing proper hitbodedut every day. Because I SHOULD get a break, one hour, every day! Let me tell you how much it has helped my emotional balance, besides the prayers themselves… 

Another point is that it turns all my other work and housework into real service of G-d. Why? Especially when it’s hard, I prove that the point of all the work is to serve Hashem – and not other things. Hashem wants me to put hitbodedut first! So, if I am serving Him, then I should follow His priorities, no? Not mine? But if I am working because I want a clean house, I want clean clothes, and that is my priority over Hashem’s priorities – so then I can’t quite say that I am doing all of it l’shem shamayim (for the sake of Heaven) on the same level. And that’s the level that we want to reach! 

I repeat: When you understand that everything is dependent on this – so then you “drop everything” and make the time, period.  

As I said, I don’t manage the entire hour every day and when I don’t – I seriously regret it because boy do I pay dearly! So now I am doing much better about making the time no matter how bad it gets, or how late it gets – and overall my life is making big improvements. If I was perfect about it, for sure things would be going even much better than they are right now… 

The Amazing Response Back! 

The next day, I received this email: 

Boy are you a gift, Rachel! Yesterday I did a WHOLE HOUR and today my oldest (44YR) daughter called me and we had a nice, friendly, relaxed conversation for about an hour!!! For the first time in 20 years! 

I call her every day, but she never picks up. FOR HER TO CALL ME???  Boy does Hashem want me to feel His love AND THE TREASURE CALLED HITBODEDUT!!♡♡♡♡  

BLESS YOU HOLY SISTER 😊