Crusaders of Stringencies

Rabbi Yitzchak Luria Ashkenazi, the holy “Ari” and father of Kabbala, teaches that the Thirteen Attributes of Torah Elucidation stem from the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy that Hashem uses to run the world. The attribute kal v’chomer, or “all the more so”, inferring from the lenient to the serious or stringent, corresponds to mercy and severe judgment. The lenient corresponds to mercy and the stringent corresponds to severe judgment. Sometimes, when a person acts too stringently, he arouses severe judgments. Is a person allowed to be stringent with himself?
 
Often, from lack of knowledge, people turn things around. They are stringent where there’s plenty of room for leniency and they are lenient where one should be stringent. For example, Rebbe Nachman taught us that it’s a tremendous mitzva to be happy. Yet, people allow themselves the “luxury” of being depressed, without doing everything in their power to run away from depression, such as dancing, listening to lively music or telling a joke. The same goes for modesty. People have concocted a myth that one need not be stringent in these matters nowadays, and anyway the world is on a low spiritual level, so why act like a pious person in Sodom? Many also make light of praying, and especially personal prayer.
 
On the other hand, the same people are crusaders of stringencies, even to the extent that they’re indignant about those who don’t act like they do. For example, they eat food with a certain kosher certification from a stringent rabbinical authority and they disdain all others who don’t eat what they do, even though the others purchase strictly kosher food. Or else, the overly stringent (and unthinking) person may not hold by the eruv (Sabbath perimeter marker) of a certain community, so he won’t carry on Shabbat. He forces his wife to act that way as well. As a result, his wife is like a prisoner at home with her baby all Shabbat, for she can’t take the baby out in a carriage or stroller.
 
Stringencies are no problem as long as a person is stringent with himself. Problems arise when he begins to be stringent with the people around him. One must ask himself: “Are others affected by my stringencies? Do my stringencies rob them of their joy in life?” A person must ascertain whether the stringencies he takes upon himself are the necessary and proper thing to do in light of his current spiritual level and family circumstance. The evil inclination is more than willing for a person to be stringent in a marginally important area in order for him to be a big loser in a significantly important area such as personal happiness or marital bliss.
 
Rebbe Nachman and Rebbe Natan once visited the sukkah of a simple Jew. Rebbe Natan, calculating the length and width of the sukkah, told Rebbe Nachman that the sukkah might not be considered kosher according to certain rabbinical authorities. Rebbe Nachman replied, “The sukkah is halachically kosher. Keep your stringencies to yourself and to your own sukkah.”
 
One must beware that others aren’t called upon to pay the price of the stringencies he takes upon himself. Furthermore, he who acts stringently should certainly not look down at those who act otherwise, for in many cases, stringencies only fuel a person’s arrogance. Indignation against others who are more lenient is an indication of arrogance.
 
Since stringencies correspond to severe judgment, they’re dangerous in toppling a person altogether. People who are overly stringent don’t get along with others. They often display anger, lack of patience and indignation, feelings that in themselves invoke stern judgment. The Gemara teaches that Hashem doesn’t harbor grudges and petty complaints against his people (see tractate Avoda Zara 3a). Also, the Torah was given to humans and not to angels. Hashem expects us to live by His laws and not die by them, for learning Torah and observing the commandments are designed to help a person attain emuna and joy in life. We should learn from those greater than us when to be lenient and when to be stringent. For this reason, it’s so important to maintain contact with a competent rabbi and spiritual guide who can give you good advice. Remember, what’s good for one person in a certain circumstance might not be the right mode of action for another person in a different circumstance, so be especially careful to avoid judging others.