The Self-Righteous Yetzer

A few months ago I had a very unfortunate experience. At the time it seemed cute, but the more I thought about it the more upset I got. To this day I still have a hard time getting over it, especially because the woman that was involved still behaves the same way.

Here’s what happened: one busy Friday morning I had run out of something that I needed to cook with. I didn’t have time to go to the store, so I ran from neighbor to neighbor, knocking on doors and hoping someone would have what I needed. I can’t remember what it was, but let’s pretend it was eggs because that’s easy to type.

Eventually after knocking on almost a dozen doors and having no one answer, I finally found someone that did answer. And even better, she had eggs! She invited me in and told me to help myself to whatever I needed. Her hands were covered in sticky dough, and she told me she was in the middle of making challah.

“Obviously,” I thought to myself. What can I say? I’ve been gifted with superhuman powers of deductive reasoning and wicked bargaining skills. She then elaborated on the reason she was making challah. She probably realized that I was dying of curiosity to know why she was making challah. I mean, what a random thing to do on a Friday morning.

“I’m doing hafrashat challah (the mitzvah of separating the challah) for the recovery of some famous rebbetzin that you’ve probably never heard of,” she told me.

“Fo’ sure!” I agreed. “I ain’t never heard of that rebbetzin in my life, miss! I’m still gettin’ used to dem newfangled things ‘round here, such as e-lect-rici-ty and inter-net!”

As I bowed my way out of there while walking backwards toward the door, I noticed her baby, who was about 18 months old (give or take a year- okay I have absolutely no idea how old he was) was eating an entire bar of chocolate right from, um, the bar.

His face was covered in chocolate and his mom piped up all perky sounding, “I didn’t have a chance to feed him yet. Isn’t he cute??”

“Like, totally!” I chimed in, as I observed that his diaper was dragging two feet behind him when he walked (or crawled) around.

I almost fell down on the extra garbage bag that was overflowing next to the overflowing garbage bag in the garbage can as I continuously bowed my way out. Backwards. I noticed piles of laundry falling over themselves, waiting to be folded, and felt a general feeling of house neglect going on.

My first instinct was to feel sorry for this woman, whose family could have done a lot more to help her out, especially on a Friday morning. But the more I thought about it, the more upset I got, both at the family and at the woman.

I wondered to myself why on Earth she was making challah for a lady who was sick instead of feeding her baby a decent breakfast. Why did this rebbetzin, who wasn’t even a family member, take precedence over my neighbor’s own children?

And worst of all, why didn’t this woman realize what she was doing?

I thought about it for a while, and then I understood.

She couldn’t realize it.

She was a victim of the “Self-Righteous Yetzer Hara,” the evil inclination. Yeah, you like that, don’t you? Well just make sure you give credit where credit is due. Meaning my PayPal account. I’ll charge you $5 every time you use that phrase. And don’t worry – I’ve got Google tracking your every word. I. Will. Find. OUT!!!!

People! The Yetzer is a GENIUS! He has every single trick on how to, ummm, trick us! He’s got ways to trick us that we haven’t even thought of yet! But this, by far, is one of his best.

Religious people love to do something that makes them feel (or look) righteous. But many times, that “mitzvah” comes at the price of a real mitzvah. And that is just wrong.

Moms, that goes especially for you. Here are some questions that you should ask yourself the next time you’re tempted to do a mitzvah for someone else: Is there food in the house? Is the laundry getting done? Is the house in decent shape? Does your baby have a dirty diaper? Do you actually have time for this mitzvah that you want to do? Will you be available for your kids when they get home from school?

Before you start running around town raising money for the poor and joining 80 Tehillim groups, you’d better check your priori-tayyys. If you can answer “YES!” to the questions above, then hop along to your local Torah class. BUT! If you can’t, u’z better not be doin’ any mitzvah hopping until your chores are done, child!

Wow, don’t I sound like Cinderella’s wicked stepmother? From Alabama??

Remember, class – chesed (acts of kindness) starts at home! Family members are people, too, you know!

Okay, I’ve decided to add these two phrases to my $5 rent-a-phrase list, but don’t sweat it. PayPal will simply deduct it from your account every time you use them. It’s all good!