The Anorexic Woman

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of going to the DMV. Oh, what a fabulous time I had, standing in line as the hot sun melted us common folk down into puddles of sweat and body fat. But I was one of the more fortunate ones, because when the infamous Florida summer storm whipped by and unloaded six inches of rain in 30 minutes, I happened to be standing under the awning.

It was a fascinating experience, being in that line. Oh, and a huge learning experience, too.

But let’s talk about the fascinating stuff first.

I love to people watch, because people are just so… fascinating. Most of us are so wrapped up in our own personal lives and our smartphones that we barely remember that there’s a great big world out there with all kinds of interesting people we can learn from.

Sometimes it’s good just to get out of our little personal virtual caves and connect with others, because everyone has something to teach us.

As I stood in the 100+ degree outdoors and used my highly active imagination to analyze each person in line, I came up with quite a few interesting stories. Honestly, it was hard for me to distinguish if I was judging them or just making up nonsense in my head because I was bored. It could have been both.

Here are a few of my favorites, just for fun.

One set of new parents was delicately holding their baby, trading him off to each other, trying to put him to sleep, and just doting on him as if he were the cutest thing ever. Well, obviously he was, to them. “Yeah, they’re a nervous wreck,” I smiled to myself, the champion mother of five who is actually a mean ol’ drill sergeant in disguise. Not to mention that I was a total nervous wreck with my firstborn.

That guy two people ahead of me? Nerd. But brilliant.  

The cute blonde girl with six earrings and a nose ring and a ring on every finger and highlights that badly needed a good touch-up and a killer tan? Oh, I had all kinds of thoughts about her.

But the most interesting one was the lady right in front of me.

And did I mention that she also happened to be my big spiritual lesson of the day?

Well. Let me describe her.

She was about 60 years old, 5’6” and weighed under 90 pounds. Her bones were practically sticking out of her skin, and her skin was a greenish white. She wore shorts and a thin, short-sleeved shirt, and her emaciated body made me very uncomfortable.

What was my natural reaction?

She’s an anorexic. Or a bulimic. Or both.

I went on and on judging this woman, feeling sorry for her, because I know anorexia and bulimia are very difficult mental illnesses to treat.

Finally, after an hour in line, we started talking. You know, first about the weather, then about Uber, then about my kids.

And then, she smacked me in the face.

Well, not literally. Though she would have, if she knew what I was thinking.

She said, “I have hyperthyroidism, and that’s why I’m so skinny.”

Hyperthyroidism is a condition where the thyroid gland is overactive, causing the metabolism to skyrocket. Sounds great, right? But, there are a ton of side effects that come along with this condition.

In any case, can you imagine how horrible I felt?

“Oh, that’s terrible!” I told her. “I actually had that during my pregnancies. I wanted to die every day. How do you feel?”

From there we had a long conversation about her condition, and poor woman, she doesn’t have health insurance so she can’t get the thyroid medicine she needs. In the meantime, she had a pretty good attitude about it, and I told her about a few supplements she could take that may help support her thyroid.

But, wow.

What a lesson that was.

We all know that you shouldn’t judge a person, because you just don’t see the whole picture at first glance.

Unfortunately, it’s such a natural and human thing to do.

And you know what?

I think it’s supposed to be that way. Maybe Hashem wants us to fall into the judgement trap because that’s where the test is hiding.

Will we allow our judgmental thoughts to put that person in a certain category in our heads? Or will we override that initial judgment call and actually get to know the person?

We all go through these tests on a daily basis. Maybe some of our thoughts are actually a good instinct that we’re blessed with. Maybe some of them are just nonsense.

The point I’d like us to take away from this experience is that we should take a step back and learn about who this person is before we come to a final judgment.

It’s the right thing to do, both spiritually and common sense-ly.

Because ultimately, wouldn’t you want others to do the same for you?