Practicality of Personal Prayer

Last week, we learned that when a person judges himself, he is not judged by the Heavenly Court, and therefore it is for our benefit to spend an hour a day in Hitbodedut. Personal prayer and self-evaluation is the opportunity of a lifetime!

 

 

 

Every person, man or women, young or old, should spend an hour a day in teshuva, which is basically personal prayer and self-evaluation. Pick the hour that’s most convenient for you; many prefer early in the morning or late at night. Preferably, one should choose a place devoid of other people such as a solitary room, a park, or a field. The most important thing is to feel comfortable with no outside interference, so you can freely pour your heart out to Hashem.

 

A good warm-up is to begin by thanking Hashem for the wonderful blessings He gives you – your health, your livelihood, and the clothes on your back. Don’t take anything for granted. Next, tell Hashem everything that has transpired in your life since the last time you spoke to Him – don’t skip any details, especially the things that make you happy and the things that upset you. Thank Hashem for helping you do your good deeds, and confess your misdeeds while judging yourself in the process. Implement a four-part teshuva process that consists of confession, remorse, asking forgiveness, and commitment to improve. Finally, ask Hashem for anything and everything you want.

 

Personal prayer is a guarantee for a happy and meaningful life.

        

    

The four-part teshuva process is too important to suffice with the above-mentioned reference in passing. It’s vital to memorize and internalize the four steps of teshuva, so that if we need to make teshuva right away for a misdeed, we don’t have to wait until our daily hour of personal prayer.

 

Teshuva can be done anywhere, except in the bathroom, shower, or in an unclean place. One can implement the Four Steps of Teshuva in the office, on the subway, or while peeling potatoes in the kitchen.

 

 

1. Confession – telling Hashem what we’ve done wrong.

 

2. Remorse – we should feel sorry for going against Hashem’s will.

 

3. Asking Forgiveness – we ask Hashem’s forgiveness like a child would ask forgiveness from a loving parent.

 

4. Commitment – we commit to do our utmost to improve in the future, and not to slide back to our old ways.

 

Daily teshuva is the best preventive medicine in the world for suffering and tribulations, and a guarantee of happiness.

 

Remember this important rule: The evil inclination isn’t interested as much in the transgression as he is in the sadness and depression that immobilize a person after the transgression. With teshuva, we disarm and neutralize the evil inclination. Rather than sinking into despair, we use our misdeed as raw material that can be refined with teshuva and converted into a steppingstone to getting closer to Hashem.

    

     

Four important guidelines show us the way to make our own self-evaluations work best. Hashem wants teshuva, not depression. We should always ask ourselves: What does Hashem want, that I should despair and become depressed because I committed a sin? Wouldn’t He prefer that I reinforce my spiritual self and do teshuva? Of course!

 

1. Hashem wants us to implement the Four Steps of Teshuva, as listed above.

 

2. Hashem doesn’t give us a test that we can’t pass. Therefore, we can’t blame our misdeeds on anyone or anything else.

 

3. With prayer, we can accomplish anything. So, even if it’s difficult for us to commit to doing better in an area that we tend to transgress, we should pray to Hashem to help us become stronger and to observe the particular mitzvah with which we’re having trouble.

 

4. Remember, we don’t deserve anything! We can’t take Hashem’s forgiveness for granted, but literally we must beg Hashem to forgive us for our wrongdoing and to help us in the future.

   

     

The above four guidelines for judging ourselves are in effect a blueprint for doing teshuva.

 

Many people attempt to do teshuva and then become disappointed because their efforts don’t turn them into tzaddikim overnight. Then, they become disheartened and disillusioned, and are liable to fall down altogether. By sticking to the four guidelines for judging ourselves, we’re assured steady, gradual, and sure-footed spiritual progress that will lead to our full soul-correction and happiness in this world and in the next.

 

Sometimes, a negative character trait, such as a bad temper, hampers teshuva. Even worse, when we first begin doing teshuva, our bad habits and traits actually surface; this is a gift from Hashem, who shows us what we need to correct.

 

With the aid of the four guidelines for judging ourselves, we can also rectify and improve negative habits and traits. In the following elaboration, we’ll use anger as an example, but you can apply the guidelines to improving anything you want, as follows:

 

1. Hashem wants teshuva, not depression – Every time our bad attribute trips us up, we ask ourselves, does Hashem want me to be depressed because I lost my temper (or plug in whatever you might have done wrong)? Wouldn’t He prefer that I reinforce my spiritual self and do teshuva? Of course! The fact that I’m aware of my problem and trying my best to correct it is already 50% of the solution!

 

2. Hashem doesn’t give us a test that we can’t pass – If Hashem is testing my temper, that means that I have the ability to overcome it. How?

 

3. With prayer, we can accomplish anything – Since I’m already aware of the problem, if I turn to Hashem and ask Him to help me, I am sure to make considerable improvement; the more I pray, the more I learn about emuna, and the harder I try, the more I’ll overcome my bad temper (or other negative trait).

 

4. Remember, we don’t deserve anything – we must approach Hashem with humility, and not with demands for instant gratification. When we speak to Hashem modestly, and ask Him for a gift, our prayers become much more cogent. For example: "Hashem, my terrible temper is a barrier that prevents me from serving You properly and performing Your commandments; please give me the emuna to realize that everything comes from You and is all for my ultimate welfare, so that nothing in the world will upset me. I know that I’m not deserving of such a gift, but I want to serve You better with all my heart." It won’t take long for prayers like these to be answered.

 

To be continued…